On December 2, 2012 (2-12-2012) we are gifted by Allah Subhan Waa Taalah / God a precious angel girl, we named her “Khadija Shahzad Janjuah”. It’s been a very tiring, interesting, happy, entertaining, life changing, ever learning, jubliant, tolerant and patience experience I must say 🙂
I have been planning to write this blog for a very long time, not to share my joy and happiness over her, but to share my personal experience to everyone out there. Who are alone, need guidance, scared and what not. Chiefly being the reason for this post, is for new parents or who are about too, to know what lies ahead of them. Unfortunately or fortunately, when my baby was born, we don’t have any elder to support or guide us. So it was a hardcore effort on our parts to go through this experience. Which is the reason for this blog post.
I am writing in points format, whatever is coming to my mind, that a new parent or a would be parent SHOULD keep in mind, REMEMBER, some of these are must have and some are based on your own decision / judgement or case to case basis:
1) When you start purchacing clothes and accessories, before birth, DO NOT FORGET IN THAT JUBILIANT MOMENT, to purchase Nappy RASH CREAM. Else don’t complain to anyone but yourself!!!
2) When you go for baby shopping, before or after birth, it’s highly advisable to consult 2 – 3 people who you think will give you honest opinion, as to what you should or shouldn’t have. There are times, when we thought it’s better to purchase something, however, when we discuss with our close friend/s or relatives who recently given birth or have vast experience, they mention not to purchase xyz item/s because it will be redundant after 2 – 3 times usuage. So it’s very important to have:
a) A group of 2 – 3 people who have recent experience of child care and are honest and you can rely on them.
b) Always take advice, before going for purchasing, else you end up wasting money.
3) It’s better and I would say highly imporant, that both parents should know their ownselves and each other nature inside out. This is so important, since your baby will react part like you and part like your spouse, So even the grand – parents / uncles / aunties / sincere friends, advices / suggestion and tips are excellent, their are times that your baby will behave like your nature, and in your sub conscious or conscious minds you or your wife is not aware. Which resulted in your child crying without any particular reason, since you are trying to comfort your child in another manner than it should be. For e.g: My nature is if I sleep for 5 – 6 hours straight, that sleep is more than enough for the rest of the time. My baby has more or less the same habit. However, my wife is with God blessing, a good sleeper, if she gets the opportunity 🙂
4) Trust me or not, my friend wife told us, when Khadija was born, that children knows many things by birth. We think that they are little and don’t know anything but trust me they know alot about themselves than we do. So remember this, your child within 1 month of his / her birth will teach you such things that you can possibly imagine. They trick you so good that you cannot believe. If you think you can keep doing one trick to make them sleep or keep them in comfort zone for a very long time remember they get bored easily after 2 weeks or max 1 month. For e.g: My little one, completely shuts one eyes, and open the other one very slightly, so slightly that sometimes you felt she is asleep, and as soon as you lie her down on bed, she wakes up. And you feel that all your efforts are gone. 🙂 SO BEWARE LOL
5) REMEMBER THIS BY HEART, When your baby is crying for obvious reasons or for not obvious reasons, put a BIG SMILY, HAPPY AND LAUGHING FACE. If you or your spouse, shows any signs of anxiety, worry or temper lose, the babies are so smart that they will cry even more, and you will loose much more temper, patience and most importantly your ability to handle the situation. So DO NOT FORGET IT AT ANY COST!!!
6) I belong to a Muslim family, we are trying to be a practicing Muslim, I read somewhere, that sometimes Satan picks on the child thigh and for no reason at all, the baby starts crying and didn’t stop. Believe me or not, Me and my wife have observed this experience. The simple solution of this is to recite “A’uzu billahi minashaitanir rajim”
The meaning of this phrase is: “I seek refuge from Allah Subhan Waa Taalah from the outcast Satan.” Allah is the Arabic name of God.
Satan is the source of evil and he always tries to misguide and mislead people. The Qur’an states that Satan is not an angel but a member of the Jinn, which are spiritual beings created by Allah.
7) Babies cries usually for obvious and non-obvious reasons:
a) OBVIOUS REASONS:
– Pamper Change.
– Feeding time.
– Water Break (If your baby is on formula milk, he / she needs water)
– Vomiting/ Digestion issue, because you didn’t give him / her proper burp.
– Sleeping time.
– Attention Seeking / Talking time.
b) NON – OBVIOUS REASONS:
– Tired of one position.
– Point No. 6
– Want change.
– Getting losen up in wrapping.
– Getting too hot or too cold.
8) Even at now 3 months old, my little one sometimes try to dictate her terms, Although alot of parents don’t agree to me, but I think, it’s better to teach children when they try to be our parents, to tell them we are their parents and not them. For E.g: Couple of weeks ago, my little one start crying that she wants to sleep in a particular position, which I know that if she gets used to it, later on, it will be difficult for both of us, to let her sleep in this way. So I have to bear her cries and loud noise, even though she cried her level best to over come the situation, but later on she gives up. And goes on sleeping the way she is being slept everytime. Even though her mother was crying to see her in that situation. But I think it’s important it teaches them important lesson of respect, listening, obeying and discipline.
9) Since the time of birth till later on, keep it in your mind, no matter what happened in the world, you have to sacrifice yourself in order not to disturb the time schedule of your child. For e.g: It was very hard for me to make her schedule of sleeping in the night, since she used to wake up the whole night. Make sure when the time of him / her comes you have to be at your place in the bed before that. NO MATTER WHAT!!!
10) Sometimes, children have cholic issue, one of the reason would be that the mother milk is not enough to completely satisfy your child requirement, if you baby is crying profoundly even after feeding, that means it’s better to consult your doctor to have formula milk immediately.
I think that’s all I have at this moment. But after having so many sleepless nights or sleeping for 3 – 4 hours in breaks or in straight hours with our peak season closing period in office. I would it’s worth enough to enjoy every little moment. The more you get involved the more you enjoy. I felt that it’s part of my job as well as my wife to take care of our children and not only of mothers. I love doing everything from Pamper Change to Feeding to making her Sleep. And it’s worth the effort. I love it. I love you my dear daughter for bringing so many happiness and for taking my tension and frustration of office out, when I reach home. Love you and mama loads and loads.