Recently I have gone through experiences where I have been labeled as being “Judgemental” in my opinions and way of life. So I had a long hard thought about it. And I said to myself “Whether being Judgmental is right or wrong”. Then after going through for sometime I thought to write this post as to my conclusion about this topic.
I personally think that consciously or subconsciously we all judge people, I personally think its not wrong to judge people at all. We do it all the time. And it’s the same basis we keep our relationship with each other. Since without judging each other we cannot proceed to the next level of any relationship.
We all go through these phrases in our life:
You the best.
You are sincere and honest friend.
The most trust worthy person I came across.
I have complete faith in you and your opinion.
I trust your advise towards me.
If we analyze these above very common statements it all reflects one thing that the other person did judge us, accordingly to our dealing with that said person. He judge us as being best, sincere, honest, trust worthy and faithful based on certain criteria to judge us from the others he encountered.
Being a Muslim, I try my level best that I keep religion and my life intertwined with each other. I don’t like to keep both of them separate. So I started wondering what probably Islam say about this. That whether we should judge the other person or not. So not directly, but indirectly these 2 sayings comes to my mind without going into much research about it. I praise to Almighty Allah for putting these in my mind and letting me recalling this for this important topic.
The first context of one hadees is:
“In the character of Prophet Muhammad Sallal Lahu Waalahe Waasalam / Peace Be Upon Him we have set the perfect example”
“The best amongst you in manners, is the one, who is best towards his wife”
If we ponder on these two sayings we are being directed to judge in the first case all of us with Prophet Muhammad Sallal Lahu Waalahe Waasalam and then in the second case judge between us as to who is better amongst us.
From this I can say, that it’s alright for me to judge other person in whatever I deal with. However, keeping the Islamic prospective aside, to prove my point that we do judge everyone and it’s alright to do it, since it’s natural. I give you the example of our parents, siblings, friends, teachers, scholars or mentors. We do compare all of them with the others all the time. And more often then not we argue and prove to the other that they are much better than the other person based on xyz factors.
So this proves my question that, it’s alright for me to judge the other person.
However, at this point, I started to think about my experiences of life and the people comments towards me which led me to all this. So I came to this conclusion, in the old times like our parents and grandparents or if we are into history, then we will know that people in those times use to judge the other people based on values. These values are usually based on these:
– Family values.
– Religious values.
– Trust worthy.
– Financial dealing and
– Covenant keeper.
If a person fails in these, then a person usually being adjudged a person of wrong character, however with the passage of time and with fast track life, we the present generation our basis has become very complicated. However the basic outline are on these lines but our judgment has been severely hampered due to a no of things, chiefly being the influence of media over us. The influx of television shows and movies has severely corrupted this judgmental calls on our part.
These have subconsciously change our mindset and thoughts and since our life style, culture and social values have been greatly changed because of the media influx in our lives, therefore as a society irrespective in any country, we now judge people differently.
The moral, family and religious values that every society once hold to judge the other is long gone and seems more like thing of the past. If a person tries to judge the other person in this respective, he / she has to go through major hurdles, in some cases either the person has to undergo / forgive his principles or in other cases has to cut out from the social norms of the society and have to bear the harsh comments and remarks of different people.
I personally am with the passage of time become more rigid with my principles, since I believe the old times were much better than the one we are living today. So the basis that my ancestors used to practice were more sound and stable. And although I get sometimes harsh beating from people within my circle of people, but then I realize that inspite all I face up, I still being the same and it didn’t matter. Not that I don’t want to change anything negative in me that needs to correct, but because my basis on which I judge people is a little right or what it should be the case, in spite the whole society thinks otherwise.
My judgment of people is strictly based on mainly one criteria, which is being how much they are holding their religion in their life. Irrespective which faith they belong and irrespective how much they practice it. The important thing to me, is only one, do they consciously or subconsciously try to strive with the moral, family and religious values or not. Since although some might not be practicing religious person according to their faith but still has family values that the person hold up to. And if that person does that, then his family must be much more religious then this person is. But on the contrary if the person is so maligned to the worldly affairs in his daily life, then I hardly doubt, that keeping the fast track life of the present time, that a person can live upto any good standards.
Because the present life style is based on 3 C’s commercialism, capitalism and competition frame of mind. Which means that human value is below above everything else. But their are some who are lost in the world of fantasy, this world of fantasy also has effected alot in the present generation. This fantasy is called “Love” and “Astrology”. Most of the people judge the others based on these criteria only. The meaning of Love has corrupted by the same ill media again. The word “Love” has subconsciously been labeled in our mind as beauty, psyche, looks and alike. We all subconsciously judge the other sex in this prospective or if not remotely, then people we are close to us, directed us towards these traits in the other person.
To look into what lies in the heart of the person for the other and to be with that person has been changed into what the person looks and what the person has in the pocket.
And it’s the same reason, that our judgment calls, more often then not gets wrong, since we start comparing our criteria on the other person based on these present way of criteria, then sooner or later the person changes, since it’s a natural process, and the result being we lost the trust in people. And one example led to another and it keeps on, till we lost our trust in people at all or we become rigid in our thoughts and believes. We don’t see the other person from the values of the past, we don’t follow our true heart. Which makes things complicated as compared to previous times.
Since we start looking at the comforts and luxuries over necessity the general life style has changed with the passage of time, be it in any case. Same goes in the relationship as well. We should be concerned about the necessity not the comfort or luxury in the other person and it’s relationship towards us. The necessity being, that whether that person cares for human values above all or not. That’s the most basic of necessity. That whether that person can share one bread with you or not or put share the umbrella with you during rain. But rather we try to judge the other person that how much bread he can bring to share, and what type or umbrella he has to offer or which types of bread the person can bake or which type of umbrella she likes or don’t like. Our necessity should be simple, since it’s the necessity we all strive, the necessity to love and being loved, the necessity to love and being loved, the necessity to live and being lived. But I guess these days being simple means being complicated.
I hope it makes sense to all those who read it. I wish all the readers a simple, peaceful and happy life. Ameen.